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Guidelines for working with children in divorce

On behalf of Janet Boyle of Boyle Feinberg Sharma posted in Child Custody on Wednesday, May 4, 2016.

Illinois parents who are getting a divorce should make the effort to put their children first. They should try to be amicable and avoid using the child against the other spouse. If possible, parents should try to remain in the house with the children or work out an agreement to split time there. They should not sign anything without legal advice and may want to consider a temporary restraining order to keep the children from leaving the state with the other parent.

During the process, parents should continue working to reduce the trauma to children. They should avoid being critical toward or angry at each otherin the children’s presence. They should also ensure that children do not feel they are responsible and continue to try to main stability and continuity in the child’s life.

Parents should keep in mind that it is good for children to have visitation time with both of them. They should try to communicate well with each other and keep a positive attitude.

Child custody and visitation are among the most difficult issues to negotiate during a divorce. Parents may want to try to come to a legal agreement outside of court. A judge will make a decision based on the best interests of the child, but parents may ultimately have a better idea of what those best interests are. Working together at this stage may also help them start to smooth the way for cooperating as co-parents after the divorce. However, in some cases, this negotiation is not possible. If litigation is necessary, an attorney can help a parent prepare for a court appearance. In court, parents should follow similar principles of staying calm and positive and focusing their children’s needs.

Source: The Sequitur, “Children and Divorce – Protecting Custodial Rights,” April 25, 2016