Parents in Illinois who are going through a divorce might be worried about their children and how they are going to cope with them splitting up. Anxieties might dominate their thoughts on a daily basis. It might be difficult for some parents to keep their children’s needs front and center while still trying to balance their own emotions and feelings.
There is a variety of feelings that people may have after their divorce. One of those is anxiety about separating from the children. However, parents should strive to avoid clingy goodbyes and too many phone calls. Their children need to feel that they have their blessing to go and be with their other parent. Calling children too much while they’re with their other parent could be detrimental to their coping strategy. Parents should strive to put the best interests of the child first after divorce.
Parents might also suffer from loneliness after their divorces and tend to lean on their older children. However, this can put too much pressure on their children and cause the parent/child boundary to be blurred. Also, babying the little children too much can make them anxious or regressed. Affection is normal, but parents should take care not to be excessively affectionate to assuage their own emotional needs.
It is also normal for exes to harbor anger towards one another. However, they should strive not to show this anger in front of their children or to talk trash about their ex in a manner that reflects badly on them and gets back to their children. Additionally, parents may feel like they’re losing control of their children’s lives, but they should try their best not to interrogate children after they spend the day with mom or dad.
Family law attorneys might be able to help divorcing couples negotiate child custody and other divorce issues. They might be able to help them come to terms that they can both agree on.
Source: Huffington post, “Why Every Divorcing Parent Screws Up (and Why It’s OK)“, Kate Scharff, August 06, 2013